Hello everyone. It’s me, Thom, proprietor of the Traveler’s Rest Inn. I’m back. I don’t want to be back, mind you, but apparently that doesn’t matter to some people. You may as well start the ale flowing now, Erica. I swear if you don’t stop doing this to me, I’m going to go dig my sword out of storage and cut off your ears.
(Great, then I wouldn’t have to listen to your grousing.)
Ah, shut up. I’m not finished....sip....I have a business to run, you know...sip....Leave me alone from now on....gulp....I mean it, I don’t have time for this. I’d tell the wizard’s guild on you, but no one would believe that a mage would expend so much time and energy on an inter-dimensional traveling spell just because she has writer’s block.
(Hey, I’m just trying to expand your horizons, you little midget. You love it and you know it.)
Little midget, eh? Look who's talking. How tall are you, anyway? About five foot and no inches, right?
(Fine, Thom, be that way. But you do realize that if you refuse to help me from now on, I’ll have to take back your payment. No more kegs of Sam Adams Cranberry Lambic for you. I guess you’ll just have to figure out how to make the Inn’s “house specialty” yourself from now on.)
That wasn’t payment, that was a grt. You wouldn’t dare take it back.
(Try me.)
Er...um...yes, well then. I suppose I was a bit hasty. I’m sure we can work things out.
(Good man. Now get started.)
Right. Now then, the person at the center of attention this month is a favorite traveling companion of mine, Feohtan Orcslayer. Nice boy, actually. A little confused, though.
My friend Feohtan started life in a small village not too far from where my little inn is located, a lovely little hamlet called Guardian’s Grove. Feohtan’s father was head of the town’s militia there. It was a shame what happened. The whole place was sacked and burned to the ground when Feohtan was just a boy. His brother died in the attack, as I remember. Damn orcs! Thank the gods I hadn’t set up shop yet, or my little inn would have been ashes, too.
Anyway, old Abiral Orcslayer never got over the shame of it. No one really blamed him, of course. There were just too many of the bastards. He still blames himself to this day, I'm sorry to say.
The family moved around a lot after the attack, as I recall. And Abiral made sure that as little Feohtan grew up, he learned all there was to know about fighting, and all there was to know about hating orcs. Yes sir, he fully expected that Feohtan’s mission in life should be to exact revenge on the entire orc race for the deaths of all those townspeople.
And it WAS his life’s work, too, at least for a while. He joined with any adventuring party he could find so that he could go out and bust up as many orcs as he could find. He was quite relentless for a while there.
However, once he had spent some time with the kind of people who tend to make up such traveling parties, Feohtan began developing other ideas about what direction his life should take. And let me tell you, his father wouldn’t approve. He began to think that he had devoted enough time to what his father wanted. When was it going to be his turn, he began to wonder. Feohtan eventually decided that what he really wanted was excitement! Danger! MONEY, damn it!!!! And he was going to get it!
Nevertheless, his father still doesn’t know that his son has gone astray. The boy keeps the charade up by sending his dear old dad a note once in a while, full of enthusiasm for the cause. He even sends Abiral the occasional orc ear, just because he thought it would make a nice touch. I’d hate to be around when the old man finally finds out the truth.
Actually, Feohtan and I adventured quite a bit together back when I still did that sort of thing. Maybe I shouldn’t have filled his young head with all those stories of gold and adventure, but then again I hate to see such talent wasted on a stupid vendetta.
There. I’m done. Can I go now, witch.
(Gee, Thomkin, I thought we could hang out for a while. Wanna see a movie? I could rent “Lord of the Rings”?)
Rent a what!?
(Never mind, Thomkin, you’ll find out. )
Feohtan Orcslayer
Chaotic greedy, 3rd level warrior
Human Male, 22 years old
6’4”, 200 lbs.
Str 17 Con 16 THAC0 18 Wis 9 Dex 14 Hp 29 Int 11 Cha 12 AC 5
Weapon Proficiencies: Two-Handed Bastard Sword (S), Dagger, Footman’s Mace, Long Bow
Non-Weapon Proficiencies: Direction Sense, Hunting, Survival, Tracking.
Languages: Common
Equipment: Chain mail, Bastard Sword, Dagger, Footman’s Mace, Long Bow, armor and weapon care kit, backpack, tunic, breeches, high soft boots, belt, 4 small belt pouches, 1 large belt pouch containing orc ears, money pouch with 35 gold and 2 silver, gem pouch with 2 rubies and 5 emeralds, water skin, iron rations, flint and steel, bullseye lantern, 2 flasks of oil, 50’ silk rope, riding horse, saddle, small saddle bags, saddle blanket
(c) 1998 by Erica Woollums